What do you think, dear Void, which is better, horrible ending or endless horror? I have to make this crystal clear for myself.
I really wish I could talk everything out, but Im not really sure how to do that so I wouldnt hurt everybody. I miss one of my special friend I used to have....
Lately the most frequent question I have been wanting to say is: What about me? What about my feelings? I wish I could get away from it all, from all the mess. I really wish I could step on a plane and just go wherever it takes me.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
what future brings...
What do you want from future? We all have our goals or dreams of our picture-like future, where everything is as pefect as it gets. I think those dreams give us confidence and to be honest, its always better to look to the future with your head held high rather than staring at your toes, being afraid of what may lurk behind the corners.
Have you ever lost a dream? Have you experienced it when all your life goals and dreams are shattered at your feet and you are there alone to pick up the pieces? Well, maybe Im being too dramatic at the moment but it scares the hell out of me if I dont have any goals and the world may be open for me again. Because I just may not know what to do with all that. I have imagined myself doing certain things for the rest of my life for so long and when it doesnt happen.... I just dont know what to do with myself.
Sometimes it all feels like a magic bubble that has just burst. You still see the splatter of it all around you, but you know that theres never gonna be a bubble again.
Im sitting here and writing to the Void. Theres actually noone who knows about this blog so theres noone to read it but myself, but I get comfort from it. Coz I really dont have much people to talk to, if I look at it like this, its really sad. I've become sad, sad person.
I keep on fighting, I dont know wether theres a point of me doing it. But I cant give up on my family and my dreams. Because I really think theres no point sacrificing everything for a short period of pleasure, every moment of it sticking in my heart like knives.
Have you ever lost a dream? Have you experienced it when all your life goals and dreams are shattered at your feet and you are there alone to pick up the pieces? Well, maybe Im being too dramatic at the moment but it scares the hell out of me if I dont have any goals and the world may be open for me again. Because I just may not know what to do with all that. I have imagined myself doing certain things for the rest of my life for so long and when it doesnt happen.... I just dont know what to do with myself.
Sometimes it all feels like a magic bubble that has just burst. You still see the splatter of it all around you, but you know that theres never gonna be a bubble again.
Im sitting here and writing to the Void. Theres actually noone who knows about this blog so theres noone to read it but myself, but I get comfort from it. Coz I really dont have much people to talk to, if I look at it like this, its really sad. I've become sad, sad person.
I keep on fighting, I dont know wether theres a point of me doing it. But I cant give up on my family and my dreams. Because I really think theres no point sacrificing everything for a short period of pleasure, every moment of it sticking in my heart like knives.
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