Remember dear Void, just this morning I told you about that strange old man who gave me the note, right?
Guess what? I was coming home from work and I saw him on the bus! I'd like to hope that he didnt see me. And I hope I made myself as tiny and invisible as I could and just hoped he wouldnt get off the bus at the same stop as me. He got off the bus one stop before me and I exhaled with relief to see him walking away to the completely opposite way where I was heading.
I got off the bus and I didnt go straight home. Since I needed some items from the grocerystore I went to the closest one to replenish my supplies.
I was walking around the store with my bread and milk in the basket, looking for some other things to buy when I saw him. He was there at the store, looking at me and nodding hello. I turned the other way and walked away as casually as I could and headed straight to the checkouts.
As I was about to pay for my items, there came some young people behind me and after them, He appeared again. I quickly (but casually) stuffed my things in my purse and stormed out. I seriously hope he didnt follow me home.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Day of All the Lovers
Yes, my Dear Void. Today is Valentines Day. I like it though I have never really had anything romantic happening on this day. Yes, even when I was married. I remember getting a card once and flowers once.
Some people are really pessimistic about this day. The call it a commercial holiday and roll their eyes when someone buys a heart shaped box of chocolates. I dont understand those people. Yes, its true, it is a sales-holiday but when theres a day to make your loved one feel special, why not do it and nobody should rain on your parade. Spread the love!
You know what happened to me couple of days ago. Something really bizarre, yet hilarious.
You know how peoples lives have patterns. How you always make coffee in the morning the same way, wake up the same time, take the same bus to work. So do I. I always take the same bus simply because that bus goes once in an hour and theres no other I can take.
And when you take the same bus every day, those people are all familiar to you. Rarely you see someone completely new.Well, heres the story. Two stops after I get on the bus, one older man gets on the bus. He is not little bit older than me, he could be approximately 60 (at least he looks that way with his gray moustache). Few days before Christmas last year he sat beside me and we started a conversation, about weather, bad road conditions because of the snow and upcoming holidays, really harmless, harmless things. Since then we greet eachother with a nod and he wishes me nice day when he exits the bus. You think its a nice story? Keep reading.
On Tuesday, he was sitting infront of me and just before he stepped off the bus, he looked in my eyes and slipped me a little crumpled piece of paper. Yes, he did. Then he left and I was sitting there, feeling weird. The bus drove on and when I unfolded the paper it said: Dear respectable Lady. Please call. Phonenumber and name at the bottom. Can you believe it?
When I told this story to my colleague she was laughing and said that on Thursday (today) when its Valetines Day, I bet he will come on the bus with flowers for you. I hope not. Im little afraid now.
And just in case you are wondering, NO, I didnt call. Hes older than my own father. Im really not interested in such things.
Some people are really pessimistic about this day. The call it a commercial holiday and roll their eyes when someone buys a heart shaped box of chocolates. I dont understand those people. Yes, its true, it is a sales-holiday but when theres a day to make your loved one feel special, why not do it and nobody should rain on your parade. Spread the love!
You know what happened to me couple of days ago. Something really bizarre, yet hilarious.
You know how peoples lives have patterns. How you always make coffee in the morning the same way, wake up the same time, take the same bus to work. So do I. I always take the same bus simply because that bus goes once in an hour and theres no other I can take.
And when you take the same bus every day, those people are all familiar to you. Rarely you see someone completely new.Well, heres the story. Two stops after I get on the bus, one older man gets on the bus. He is not little bit older than me, he could be approximately 60 (at least he looks that way with his gray moustache). Few days before Christmas last year he sat beside me and we started a conversation, about weather, bad road conditions because of the snow and upcoming holidays, really harmless, harmless things. Since then we greet eachother with a nod and he wishes me nice day when he exits the bus. You think its a nice story? Keep reading.
On Tuesday, he was sitting infront of me and just before he stepped off the bus, he looked in my eyes and slipped me a little crumpled piece of paper. Yes, he did. Then he left and I was sitting there, feeling weird. The bus drove on and when I unfolded the paper it said: Dear respectable Lady. Please call. Phonenumber and name at the bottom. Can you believe it?
When I told this story to my colleague she was laughing and said that on Thursday (today) when its Valetines Day, I bet he will come on the bus with flowers for you. I hope not. Im little afraid now.
And just in case you are wondering, NO, I didnt call. Hes older than my own father. Im really not interested in such things.
Friday, February 1, 2013
The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.
I came across that line quite accidentally. Its is an opening line of L.P. Hartley "The Go-Between" published in 1953. I have to admit that I had never heard of that book before. But that line made me think.
Made me think how we want to apply the rules in the past to present situations. We are used to how things have been in the past so we honestly expect them to be so in the present moment. But they are not. Things change in time, we change in time. We cannot hope that the world works the same way it did couple of years ago. We have shaped the time ourselves. And yet it gives us this unsettling feeling when things dont go the way we are "used to". We think that at least the good things should remain the same. But why should good things be excluded from the turn of time? Everything changes.
Im not completely sure why I write all this and where I want to get with this talk but when I saw that line, it reminded me of my father. And how I instinctively feel that he still regards me as this 22 year old who once left her home, her country to go to Ireland.
I have told you about the serious coversations I have been having with him and that I told him that I plan to leave again, not tomorrow, not next month but I plan to do so. He told me, not directly though, about what would be waiting for me abroad. I felt that the subtext sounded something like: you went away once, and look what came out of that! Maybe Im over-dramatising, but thats how I feel.
And to make it clear, I did well in Ireland. I had a job, I had a roof over my head and I was completely well. Probably I didnt make the wisest choice of picking my life-partner, but thats completely another matter which had nothing to do with how I managed abroad. And I feel that my father puts those two completely different sides of my life there under the same denominator.
I respect my father and his opinions and I love him with all my heart. I dont know why he thinks it is an easy decision to leave. Its not. Its really hard but I feel that I have to make a decision to be happy and feeling content. I know that I they dont fully understand me because I have always been the odd one, the one whos not afraid to explore and travel, even alone.
I just want them to know that even if Im far, I still love them to bits and I wouldnt be gone for them.
But I cannot live my life according to other peoples wishes, what they want me to do and what they want me to become. I cannot push myself down anymore because in the past that has only made me unhappy. And this life is too short to simply settle for something only because it makes other people happy.
Made me think how we want to apply the rules in the past to present situations. We are used to how things have been in the past so we honestly expect them to be so in the present moment. But they are not. Things change in time, we change in time. We cannot hope that the world works the same way it did couple of years ago. We have shaped the time ourselves. And yet it gives us this unsettling feeling when things dont go the way we are "used to". We think that at least the good things should remain the same. But why should good things be excluded from the turn of time? Everything changes.
Im not completely sure why I write all this and where I want to get with this talk but when I saw that line, it reminded me of my father. And how I instinctively feel that he still regards me as this 22 year old who once left her home, her country to go to Ireland.
I have told you about the serious coversations I have been having with him and that I told him that I plan to leave again, not tomorrow, not next month but I plan to do so. He told me, not directly though, about what would be waiting for me abroad. I felt that the subtext sounded something like: you went away once, and look what came out of that! Maybe Im over-dramatising, but thats how I feel.
And to make it clear, I did well in Ireland. I had a job, I had a roof over my head and I was completely well. Probably I didnt make the wisest choice of picking my life-partner, but thats completely another matter which had nothing to do with how I managed abroad. And I feel that my father puts those two completely different sides of my life there under the same denominator.
I respect my father and his opinions and I love him with all my heart. I dont know why he thinks it is an easy decision to leave. Its not. Its really hard but I feel that I have to make a decision to be happy and feeling content. I know that I they dont fully understand me because I have always been the odd one, the one whos not afraid to explore and travel, even alone.
I just want them to know that even if Im far, I still love them to bits and I wouldnt be gone for them.
But I cannot live my life according to other peoples wishes, what they want me to do and what they want me to become. I cannot push myself down anymore because in the past that has only made me unhappy. And this life is too short to simply settle for something only because it makes other people happy.
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