Don't worry my Dear Void, its not going to be anything too deep or abstract. Its about my last day to be as old as I am because tadaa! tomorrow is my birthday. And no worries, it's not going to be a post about existential/mid-life crisis either.
I remember the times I have written here and there were several times I have done so around or on my birthday. And I feel that the setting I was in has changed, I live in a different country now than I did then but overall I feel the same. I am still the same me. Maybe more experienced and sadly more cynical, but still me.
I'm transcending into this deeper conversational level when I write here sometimes. It almost feels, strangely enough, like an outer body experience. I feel that I haven't had such a conversation in real life, face to face for far too long. As time goes by, people tend to get more superficial and shallow, maybe myself as well.
I miss it, Dear Void, I miss it so much. Being able to sit across the table from someone, with a hot tea/coffee in my hand and talk. Not about the weather or tv or for the sake of it, situation in politics, but about life, deeper meaning of things. Talk about out inner selves, about out feelings, emotions and aspirations without fear of being judged or taken the wrong way. I feel as if I need to do this again or soon I wont be able to, that I wouldn't know how to talk about these things anymore. It may sound ridiculous but I feel the physical need for these emotional-philosophical-intuitive conversations. Its like part of me is fading away because I haven't found an outlet to it.
And, no offence, I don't think that talking to you Dear Void is the complete answer either. It helps, it definitely does, but it sometimes turns into this aimless rambling, which I really rather avoid.
On the happier notes, I will spend my birthday most of it at work (not really that happy tone) and the afternoon I will meet my friend with whom I will spend a lovely afternoon and catch up. I cant wait, I have so much to tell her.
Then a nice evening with my other half who will take me for dinner the day after !
To be honest, Dear Void, it did turn into an existential crisis sort of ramble at some point...but I brought it back!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
