Yes, Dear Void, I want to do just that. Because Im in a point in my life where I really cant do anything else. Im stuck and lost and I dont know which way should I go. God has looked out for me all this time, giving me moments to smile and laugh about, giving me times of despair to really look inside myself and reflect. But He has always had my back, been by my side, guiding me away from the biggest possible blunders. And these are all those moments that you realize later and then you can exhale of thankfulness that things indeed went like they did.
And I know, I havent been here writing for quite some time. Things have been unstabile, hitting the bottom by the end of the year and the first months of 2010. But I sincerely hope that Im gonna see some sun soon. That the spring takes all the heavyness of my soul and the burden from my heart and gives it flight. I need to clear my head of all the dark thoughts that have been gathering dust in the corners of my mind. Its like an old drawer where you hold all your old letters and papers that you take out every once in a while to read and to hurt yourself. I need to free myself from those old and hurting memories and create room for new ones. I dont exactly know how to do it or how long would it take but I have to try. There have been many changes already in my life regarding my work and my relationships with different people. Dont get me wrong, Im still married. But I just need to cast away all the people who arent worth my time and effort because I have people who keep me sane and smiling. And spring is coming...it really is coming....
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