Tormented genius.

I dont know where to start writing. My whole life is a big I DONT KNOW right now. All things about my future and what to do with it, where to go and where to take it from here... its all a big blur and haze and I cannot make anything out of it. The crap part is that I have been forced to be in charge for so long that I dont know how to let go anymore. I know that I have to, but the thought of this letting-go moment finally arriving scares the shit out of me. The unknown future..its like opening a door to a completely pitch black room and knowing that you cannot just stay there, standing on the door, desperately clinging to the doorknob and hoping that maybe, just maybe you dont have to take that step.
And it just dawned to me that the worst is to take the first one. That would be the most scariest part. The second and the third steps will be more easier. But Im still scared as hell. Please Dear Void, send someone my way to help me out, someone to reach out their hands and pull me up and who will lend a shoulder to rest/cry on.