The touch of winter is in the air

My dear, dear Void. I havent been writing here for almost 2 months. I have been thinking about it alot but somehow I havent found that mysterious "something" that would make me sit down and have a heart to heart talk with you. But now Im here, sitting down in my room with my laptop, out of the daily rush until it pulls me back again like a leaf in the autumn wind.

Winter is coming. I can feel it in the air. The wind is cold, it goes right through your bones and makes you grab your coat and pull it closer to your body. Leaves are still on the trees and there are some lovely autumn colours in the nature. Back home, the trees are bare already for quite some time. I love the fact that here, in the city of 8 million people I feel the nature being closer to me than I did in a small town in Estonia.

My life has taken its twists and turns during these months. I have a job now! I started late September. I work as a waitress in a charming restaurant not far from where I live. It has its ups and downs, Im not pretending that all is peachy, but as always, I get by and get on with my life.

I feel now that everything is somehow falling into place. I have a home and I have a job. And I have peace. And as strange as it sounds, the last of them somehow means the most to me. To finally not worry about trivial, everyday things. I was walking one day, just running some errands (not literally running) and listening to music. Sun was peeking out between clouds, air was crisp, I had crunchy leaves beneath my feet and I had to resist the urge to skip. You know how little schoolgirls do, that kind of skipping. I didnt. Women my age dont skip. But I wanted to. Because it felt so light inside and everything felt as its supposed to feel. I felt like I have finally achieved what I set out to feel during those months of turmoil in Estonia when I was trying to figure out how to carry on and where to do it. I finally have this moment. I seized it.
It doesnt mean that I dont have any worries or things I ponder about. Not at all. I still do, I am a chronical over-thinker. But the biggest weight of them all has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel ( I know how corny it sounds) alive. Even though Im far from my family and the Christmas time is approaching. I dont want to talk about that, it gets me weepy.

And I feel that I have found someone. Someone lovely. Someone who wants to make me happy.