Early summer heatwave.

 My dear Void. I am literally melting. All the water that I consume makes its way out through my pores. Awful. I so don´t like being sweaty and sticky. But I guess its one of the pleasures of summer. I have been trying to find light and loose clothes without them being see-through. Here its much more different than in London. One colleague already asked why I am wearing leggings under my dress with this heat. I just brushed it off because I know its no point getting into that conversation when some people here walk around with their tops and bottoms hanging out.

I have been dead tired these past few days, wrapping up my last parties at work. Couldn´t even sleep properly 2 nights ago. Last evening I fell to bed like a dead wood and I slept like a log (excuse the punny pun) though my dreams were not as peaceful in bed as my body seemed. I saw my ex in my dreams, who tried to convince me that he is not as nuts as he actually is. I woke up early and had the feeling for a split second as if I was back there.

I will take a little trip down the memory lane this August (mind you, only the pleasant ones allowed). I will visit my favourite places and be a tourist in my former hometown. When I think about it now, I get bit hollow in my stomach, as if I will make my return there to my former life. I know I have done such great things here for myself. I have been healing, my body and will continue working on my soul. I also hope to find love. Something that I have been missing all these years. Different kind of love. Slow love. Kind and non-pushy love. Love that accepts me as I am. Hope is alive. Always.