B-Day

So yes, today is my birthday. Im officially 24 now.
I dont feel as broken today than I did yesterday, although when I think about the letters what he writes to her, it still gets me all shaking in shock. Why do I torture myself?? Whyyy?? Probably I am more masochist than I thought I was.
And he cant even tell me the truth, He just keeps telling me to trust him and that everything is going to be just fine for me. Like the outcome is going to be in my favour.
And heres the other laughing-spot. Trust him? Im not sure I can do that anymore, coz he has lied to me far too much, I just dont believe a damn thing he is saying to me.
Maybe Im just too desperate to belive his words, I soo much want to believe that everything is going to be ok....and to be honest, I can believe, until the next time...