The last weekend

My Dear Void, this is my last weekend here, in my home. Next friday I meet the landlord here and we settle the last things and payments and thats it.

Im heartbroken.
It was really hard to see my home turn into something impersonal. Bare shelves, no track of me ever being here. I packed up my last things and I had the memory-flashes again, so strong that I actually felt sick in my stomach. I found some papers and greeting cards for my wedding that happened almost 5 years ago. It was little too much for me so I just sat on my bed and weeped. Its strange how the things you thought were over with still affect you that much.
But it literally made me feel sick inside and weak in the knees.

My home is bare. Stripped of all the things that were mine. Just few things left for my last 4 days here and thats it. I changed the curtains in the kitchen and livingroom and now even the light is different. It all feels different as if it wasnt my home anymore. Walls are bare, cupboards are empty, boxes and bags on the floor waiting to be taken away. Its absolutely gut wrenching to know that this is the place I would never return to. I didnt feel this way in Ireland when I left my homes there. First time it happened, I didnt have much time to think about it. My relocation from Limerick happened so quickly, His new work and new place to live. And I guess one thing that took away the sorrow was that it was a new start with someone I loved back then. And to find a greeting card from my former colleagues from Dell wishing me happy married life, it all brought it back to me. Both, the happiness and the betrayal.

Cant believe I have lived here for almost 3 years. But now its time to part.