Sleeping with my eyes open

Good morning my Dear Void.
To sound grumpy I would say that theres absolutely nothing good about this morning but since I dont think I am one of those kind I say that it looks like its going to be a lovely day. Full with promises of springtime.
Just 2 days ago it seemed hopeless. I came home from work in the late afternoon and it was snowing. Let me remind you, two days ago was 1st of April. It was nasty weather, strong gusts of wind that blew this wet sleet everywhere and by the time I got home my jeans were soaked and face frozen. Today it looks much better.

But this is not why Im writing.
Next week Im moving away. I didnt realize that it would be so hard on me. This has been my home for 2,5 years and in a week it would be nothing but a gap, stripped of all the things and memories that are mine. It would be a shell for someone to build their home in. For me it will be a gap.

I didnt realise how many things and how many memories I have here. I started sorting my things the other day and I came face to face with them. I sat here and the whole range of emotions flushed over me and I just sat here and tried to savour the good ones. Its not just an apartment Im leaving behind, its my home.
One big stage in my life will be over soon. This weekend I try to pack everything together so that for my last 4 days I would only have the necessities, the things I would actually use during my last days here.

I feel sad and strangely heartbroken but mostly I feel tired. Emotions like this, they wear me out and I havent been able to sleep the past 2 nights so I feel like sleepwalking. Its hard to concentrate like this but I will give my best. Hope I dont fall asleep on my way to work.