Reality hits hard

 It crushes, my Dear Void, it really does.

Yesterday I got the results back from my blood test and its not good news. I have to go back to taking medication for my diabetes because my body cannot cope on its own. When I got the news, I completely broke down. My hopes were so high so I my fall was long and painful.

I somehow knew it before I received the call. My daily glucose reading have been slowly creeping up, but I didn't give up the hope. I thought that maybe I can blame the rise on stress, bad sleep or god knows what. But no. It's because my body needs help. It has really nothing to do with me eating properly and sticking to the program or my strong willpower. My body, my pancreas is just tired and can't do it without help.

I'm feeling little better about it today. Still disappointed, obviously, but the will to carry on making healthy choices and sticking to the plan is stronger than ever.